The social distancing tips you haven’t thought of

By David Deasy | March 25, 2020

We asked our team for suggestions on dealing with being all boxed up at home. They had a million ideas because we’ve been doing “work from home” for almost 2 years. Our experience gives us the authority to tell you what to do.

Side projects are good, especially if they’re a little bit off.

Sitting in the same place every day can make one stir-crazy. Have a side project you can tinker with when you need a break. I’ve found building birdhouses helps to keep one from going cuckoo.

Reassure your neighbors.

As a show of solidarity with your neighbors, stick your head out of a window and sing Italian love songs. Everybody loves Italian love songs. If a neighbor objects to your singing, consider blackballing them at your next neighborhood association meeting.

Have you considered how your dummy feels at this stressful time?

If you use a dummy to get through the carpool lane on your commute to work, remember your dummy might be experiencing a sense of a loss of purpose. Including your dummy on video chats can help rebuild confidence. He or she may even be able to offer a unique perspective on many pressing business related issues.

I’ve found building birdhouses helps to keep one from going cuckoo.

Did you know dogs love Italian love songs?

Forget about whether that is true or not. Just be aware that your dog is not used to having you around. Help your pup feel included in your day. Let him or her join you in singing Italian love songs to your neighbors (and their dogs).

Your weird habits are finally free.

Embrace your new privacy! Colleagues can no longer judge you for eating raw potatoes! Own your quirks and chow down as many raw potatoes as you wish!

The tiresome routine of bathing is now in your past.

If you find that you haven’t taken a bath in a couple days, now is the time to say “Who cares?” You can say it to yourself, in front of a mirror. Nobody cares. They can’t possibly care because they are not within smelling distance. Stop thinking about it and go build yourself a birdhouse.